SIU-- Shieldzone Investigation Unit

The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent. However, if you can figure it out, GREAT. So, it all happened on Thursday when the cart manager recognized that one of the employees—who should hereafter be referred to as JA (jack ass), had returned an item from a customer that was never purchased. So we looked into all of the returns from JA and found that over the last four months, JA had been systematically reversing transactions of customers (out of my bank account) from the cart and putting the refund credit onto his creditcard/giftcard. Initially we ran the report against the credit and found only $1400 in transaction fraud. But after contacting our merchant processing services we found over $2600 in fraudulent transactions. I spent the entire morning on Friday doing my best to reverse every single transaction. But because he’s such a cheap ass, all of the transactions were declined because there was no money available on the cards. This means I am out $2600 until a judge makes him pay. I contacted Officer ROBERT R (one my best friends who’s a cop), and he told me the best recourse of action. My original plan was to charge back all $2600 and when JA showed up to work that day (at this point he had no idea of the Shieldzone Investigation Unit was on to him), and hand him a receipt for $2600—and tell him “thank you for your business” and then have the police waiting to cuff his ass and send him to jail. Unfortunately, I was unable to reverse any of the transactions, so I just contacted the police and they were waiting for him at the cart when he showed up for work. I had printed out every single transaction and had crossed the “t’s” and dotted the “i’s” for the investigation. So we had all of the transaction printed on paper. And when he showed up, the officer started to ask him questions regarding the transactions. He being such a “smart individual” instantly recognized that all of the transactions happened to have the same last four numbers for the credit card. Myself and the officers were amazed at this astonishing finding (wink, wink), and we asked him if he had seen who this might be using this same credit card over and over again. He quickly brought to life his imaginary friend (or maybe it was his fantasy lover), a short middle-aged balding fat man in an oversized business suit (really—he said this), I thought to myself, wow— is that the best you can do? So the officer assumed that he obviously wasn’t going to admit to the fraud right away, so he took him away from the cart and asked JA if he could search him. He frisked JA, finding on his person, five debit gift cards—three of which were the same numbers of all of the transaction that had taken place. This was an obvious giveaway and he soon after followed suit and admitted guilt. I was hoping he would resist arrest and be thrown to the ground, but unfortunately, they cuffed him, and he started to cry—and I stared at him right in the eyes and he wouldn’t look at me. They took him away. An hour later his mommy called me and asked me the dumbest question I’ve ever heard in my entire life….Do you have proof of these charges? (I mean come on—as if I’m going to go through the trouble to fabricate all of this—I guess like mother like son—literally since she just got out of jail too---dumb asses). So now I have to wait until he’s prosecuted and I am legally able to get my money back. But until then, his cute tattoos should serve him well in prison.