Monday, October 13, 2008

Close to home: Prop 8

Dear friends,

I have a friend, Katie McGee send me a similar message via email regarding Prop 8 and I liked it so much that I decided to re-use it here on the blog…. I’ve updated it and changed it around a bit, but here is the gist of it:

Russ and I have been living in California for a year and a half now… we’ve both grown up here and feel extremely strong about Proposition 8…. "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

Not only is the LDS faith strongly promoting and doing all they can to organize an effort to alert California’s about voting YES on Prop 8, but many other religions and faiths are doing the same.

This is a very important proposition, and for those of you who don’t live in California, it also affects you…. If this proposition does not pass in California, the consequences will be far reaching and it will be a battle we will continue to fight over and over and over in every State in the Nation.

Last week, our church had a special broadcast for its members to discuss the issue and our efforts. I wasn’t able to attend the broadcast, but I have been able to get many recaps from family and friends. In this broadcast, they spoke about what could potentially happen if this prop does not pass… I will not go into details, but two of these things really made me anxious, as a future mother and a citizen:

School Curriculum. If 'marriage' is defined as between 'whomever' and 'whomever' instead of between a man and a woman, our children in grades K-12 will have sex-education that has to give equal treatment to all and any unions. Because homosexuality by definition relates specifically to the act of sex, information about sex /of all forms/, will be given out at a much earlier age and in away contrary to our desires as parents.

Religious Freedom. This is HUGE to those of us who hold sacred our ability to share the gospel of Jesus Christ in our chapels, homes and elsewhere without the government telling us in what way we can do so.

Overall, Prop 8 is a very sensitive issue. In fact some of you might wonder how you really feel about it because there are likely those you love and care for who are living a homosexual lifestyle. But, as you read and learn about this proposition, you will come to understand that this is not an issue of 'tolerance for homosexuals' it is an issue of *freedom for all*.

Russ and I have felt so strongly about this that we’ve put bumper stickers on our cars, have donated, and have attended meetings regarding the issue. My parents and my grandparents who also live in southern California have taken it one step forward and have gone door to door to discuss the issue with neighbors and other community members and have posted signs in their front yards. We have been asked to do whatever we can to educate our neighbors, friends and family regarding the issue including using our blogs, myspace pages, etc. to discuss the cause.

My friend Katy has put together a site, http://protectchildrenandfreedoms.blogspot.com/ that is a collection of resources from the LDS church, Catholic church, and other evangelical sects that have put out in support of “traditional marriage.” It also includes a collection of letters that people have written to local papers.

Russ and I invite you to check out Katy’s site as well as www.protectmarriage.com (the official Yes On Prop 8 Site). We would also like to encourage you to share these links with friends and family members urging them to get educated and pass on the word to any other Californians you might know that can make a difference at the pools on election day.

Feel free to copy the letter I have written, and change it so it fits your family and your ideas regarding Prop 8 and please post it on your blog or myspace.

Again, thanks for reading this post, and together, whether Christian, Catholic, Muslim, LDS, or any faith, we can come together to stand for what we believe is right.

Anyone have any thoughts on Prop 8 they want to share? Feel free to post a comment.

11 comments:

Katy said...

Thanks Debbie... this is so important!!

emi. said...

awesome blog. thank you.



Defining marriage as between one man and one woman is not taking away anyone's rights. The definition simply distinguishes a union that is biologically capable of producing its own children. Whether a married couple has children or not, I feel like this deserves a separate name--even the potential is kind of a miracle.

Actually this definition can be seen as the ultimate expression of equality our society has to offer: it takes one man and one woman. One could see a lesbian union as a marginalization of men, or a homosexual union as a marginalization of women.

Equality is especially important when it comes to raising children. Children deserve/need a father and a mother. Neither parent should be marginalized.

Yes, many children are already growing up in single-parent homes. Prop 8 should be a reminder to everyone that as a society we need to assist and strengthen families as much as possible. Really, as a society we should be most concerned with the success and health of our families.

http://emiliadelmar.blogspot.com/2008/10/legislation-and-social-issues.html

peace out

Russ and Debbie said...

Okay, so the following two people posted comments under the wrong thing... so I thought I would move them up here....

2 CommentsClose this window Jump to comment form
Chatty Cathy World said...
You Go Girl!!!! Truly your efforts are appreciated. I wish we could still vote in Cali as we would be right their with you!

October 13, 2008 11:49 PM


Casey said...
Ugh. I am so sick of this issue coming up. I had hoped we'd be done with it the last time it was on the ballot. But, I suppose, for so long as there are gays who want to marry and straights who don't want them to, we'll keep seeing this issue on the ticket.

I could really relate when you said many of us have gays whom we love and want to see happy. As you know, I attended a gay wedding a few weeks back.

I view marriage as a religious sacrament. Of the other religions I am familiar with that also consider it a sacrament, none of them support marriage between gays. For those who do not view it that way, they do not push for marriage, period.

One thing must be kept clear: Marriage has always been a religious practice. It was not until recent history when marriage was incorporated into the legal process to determine inheritance rights. It is my opinion that marriage should've been kept out of it the entire time. It is a religious issue!

Everyone talks about the separation of church and state, and this issue is a direct result of this fight. My forefathers developed these rules and laws to protect my freedom to worship how I want and to ensure my religious beliefs are respected here, not as a tool to keep God out of life. The state needs to keep civil rights issues and the like out of marriage. Marriage is a religious sacrament. Have I said it enough times? Lol, I'm annoying.

My main question is: why do gay people want to be a part of something that doesn't want them? In plain terms, what I mean is, if there were an exclusive club that was for men only, why would I even want to join? Why not start a women's club for my own enjoyment?

I think it is less about gay peple wanting to be married and more about control. I believe in civil rights. I also believe that gay people in committed relationships should enjoy the same legal benefits as married couples, such as inheritance if they so choose. But that being said, there are plenty of ways to accomplish such things within our present legal system. Why must they bring marriage into it? You can already register a domestic partnership. What's wrong with a civil union? Lots of nonreligious STRAIGHT people have civil unions at a courthouse just to get the legal benefits without having the sacrament. If you're worried about medical issues, etc. you can sign a freaking Durable Power of Attorney. There is a legality in place for each scenario. Marriage is for people who want the religious sacrament!!!

I believe in letting those people have their civil unions for tax purposes or whatever. I, personally, don't care about the legal benefits as much as the committment I made to God. My spiritual marriage is more important than my piece of paper. So when people say "separate but equal" is equivalent to segregation in the 50's and 60's, I am appalled.

Gays can have whatever type of party or commitment cermony they want, just as I CHOSE to have a religious ceremony. If all they care about is the piece of paper and the rights of entitlement, then why aren't domestic partnerships and civil unions enough? Because it is all about control.

I really don't think this makes me a hate monger as the media would lead you to believe. I love my gay friend very much and it is God's decision to judge them as He will. My only job is to love and repesct people in Jesus' name, right? Right.

I guess I simply don't buy into the argument from the gay groups that it is an issue of equality. If I want someone specific to be in charge of my property, if I want to adopt a child, if I want to leave someone in charge of my medical decisions, I need to go through the proper channels just like everyone else. Very few benefits are guaranteed simply because you're married to someone. I jump through the same hoops to ensure my wishes are respected, on my own dime, and they should be expected to do the same thing.

I just don't think this is an equality issue, I think it is a "neener neener I won and I am in control" issue.

This wasn't a very well-written piece from me, but what can I do? It was a spur-of-the-moment comment. I guess I've simply met the max of my patience with people trying to push their values down my throat. I am allowed to believe it is a sacrament, a religious issue, and I do NOT have to support gay marriage. Any time someone chooses the less politically correct opinion, they're labeled as closed-minded, ignorant, racist, etc. The fact of the matter is, I have gay friends, I have striaght friends, married, divorced and single. They're all my friends. And I respect all of them. But that doesn't mean any of them are entitled to chastise me when I disagree with their beliefs. What about **my** rights to my OWN opinion? Who is going to stand up and fight for my right to make my own choices? I guess the only person I can count on is me.

For the record, my gay friend was raised a devout Catholic. The pain in her eyes was evident before her wedding and I knew part of that had to do with her knowing her "marriage" is not what she believes marriage to be. She has admitted to struggling with this very issue herself.

Lydia Kiesling said...

I think it's really sad that you feel this way. I wish that there were fewer people who felt the way that you do. Unfortunately, church leaders and people like you persist in misleading one another about the consequences of a vote against Prop 8. Do you really think that the State of California is going to teach "gay sex" in schools? Do you really think that the government is going to force you to perform gay marriages in your church? That's not what a vote against Prop 8 means. And I've got to say that it displays a pretty un-Christian attitude to try to prevent someone from being married, just because he or she is different from you. For shame.

Russ and Debbie said...

Lydia, I am utterly suprised at your comment. Yes, I do believe that the State of California is going to teach gay sex in school. We already have classes set up in each level of school that educates children about their bodies... and it is very unacceptable to me for a teacher to teach my child that it is right for a man an a man or a woman and woman to have sexual relations. I truely believe that marriage should ONLY be between and man and a woman. I don't think it is un-Christian to believe this. I have nothing against anyone who is gay, I love my gay friends... I don't like what they do, but I still love them as individual people. Again, I think it is utterly wrong for the state to allow the sanctity of marriage to be allowed with a man and a man or a woman and a woman. This is uterly wrong and I am taking a stand by voting yes on Prop 8. I hope that other people who feel the same way will also vote yes.

Lydia Kiesling said...

The state of California is not going to issue "How To: The Gay Sex Guide" to students. The extent of acknowledging gay sex in schools would be to point out in health classes, accurately, that people have different preferences and that any kind of sexual activity practiced unsafely can lead to STDs and STIs.
You refer to yourself as a "future mother." What if one of your children is gay? Would you honestly tell your child and his or her partner that you think their union is wrong in the eyes of God? I suspect the answer is yes and I think that's terrible. This is your blog, and the beauty of this country is that it is your right to think what you like and practice what you like, and to write about it. Nonetheless, I want you to know that I'll be right there with you in the polls come November 4th, casting my vote against this proposition. I don't think it is our right as citizens to discriminate against other citizens, and I think that what you are fundamentally advocating is discrimination. And yes, you do have something against gay people. If someone said "Oh, I love my black friends, I just think it's too bad that they're black," wouldn't that be racist and hurtful? How is what you said about your gay so-called friends different?

Anonymous said...

i agree with lydia. the government shouldn't discriminate against gay people, just like they can't discriminate against women, or people of other religions. you and your religion are entitled to believe that marriage [a state-sanctioned institution] is between a man and a woman only. but the government is obliged to treat all citizens equally. so trying to pass a proposition that will disallow something for ONE part of the population and not the other is backwards-looking. you should probably read this: http://www.noonprop8.com/about/fact-vs-fiction

Russ and Debbie said...

Lydia, I find it funny that your profile is "hidden." You post comments on my blog, but I can not post on yours? Hum.... Anyway, again my answer is YES... and I'm not a terrible person for thinking that marriage should only be between a man and a woman... I'm not trying to be contencious, I'm just stating what I believe, and I have a given right to do so...as are you... but when you call me a racist... I can see that all you want to do is "fight" and not discuss... and that's not what my blog is all about... I wish you the best... I will keep your posts on here, but if you send me anymore comments that I feel are only fighting words, I will delete all of the comments.

Russ and Debbie said...

And another anonymous comment? If you want to say something you believe in, please share your name and profile, otherwise your comments will be deleted.

Lydia Kiesling said...

I don't have a blog; if I did I would be delighted for you to post on it. I'm not sure what I can give you to make this exchange "fair." My email address? I could send you ineffectual bleeding heart liberal email forwards and you could send me some of the untrue but ingenious propaganda email forwards my LDS friends have told me about. That's probably about as much communication as we could have; it seems we are both pretty set in our respective ways. I hope you have a great life, but I also hope that on November 5th I can celebrate the defeat of Prop 8. I also hope that one day we will all be able to understand each other a little better and love each other a lot more. Thanks for not deleting my comments.

Kristyn said...

I've heard the comment relating to prop 8 and racism before, I don't get it. I've seen gays start off straight, and I've seen some go back, but I've never seen a black switch to caucasian or any other race. This prop is a way for us to vote on our opinions, which is what we're ALL doing, Debbie and Lydia included. Agree to disagree it seems is the best thing.